BREAKING NEWS: Chicago voters send entire Cubs infield to All-Star Game. Record voter turnout at Graceland Cemetery.

Chicago voters bring out the dead to cast over 10,000,000 ballots and send 7 Cubs to the All-Star Game. We wish the Cubs good luck in the game, and hope they remember to let the goat in. He still hasn’t seen his game. Let’s not get to October with out making the goat part of the Cubs’ family. The goat is GOOD luck!!